Components of Love

Duy Anh Phan - Mai Vi

Duy Anh Phan – Mai Vi

I will discuss the various types of feelings and emotions involved in what one calls love, I label them “components”. I am to some extent inspired by the famous book The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis, but while he described them as distinct forms of love, I will rather consider that they can mix together in various proportions through any particular love relation. This idea of mixing different forms of love was developed by J. A. Lee in Lovestyles; however he views them as “styles”, which can be not only emotions, arousals and feelings, but also attitudes towards feelings such as commitment, playfulness or manipulation, as well as degrees of compliance with social norms such as marriage and family. CONTINUE READING…

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Aside

148 years ago

National Portrait Gallery - Herbert Rose Barraud (The Theatre) – Minnie Terry (1889)

National Portrait Gallery – Herbert Rose Barraud (The Theatre) – Minnie Terry (1889)

2 August 1867 marks the birthday of Ernest Dowson, poet, novelist, short-story writer, absinthe drinker, worshipper of Minnie Terry and devoted lover of Adelaide Foltinowicz.

The best tribute to Dowson’s poetry was given by Oscar Wilde in a letter written to him on 28 June 1897:

I write a little line … to tell you how charming you are … Tonight I am going to read your poems—your lovely lyrics—words with wings you write always. It is an exquisite gift, and fortunately rare in an age whose prose is more poetic than its poetry.

In a letter to Leonard Smithers sent from Paris just after hearing news of Dowson’s death on 23 February 1900, Wilde gave also the best tribute to him as a lover:

Poor wounded wonderful fellow that he was, a tragic reproduction of all tragic poetry, like a symbol, or a scene. I hope bay leaves will be laid on his tomb and rue and myrtle too for he knew what love was.

Let us hear the message hidden in a draft of Dowson’s poem Wisdom :

Dream all thy dreams and dream them well, true

References:

The Letters of Ernest Dowson, Desmond Flower and Henry Maas (editors), Fairleigh Dickinson University Press, 1967, Introduction to Part V, pages 377 and 421.

Ernest Dowson Collected Poems, Robert Kelsey Rought Thornton and Caroline Dowson (editors), Birmingham University Press, 2003, page 261.

Ernest Dowson and the ages of woman

The writer Ernest Dowson (1867–1900) was a lover of young girls, his deep feelings for them are expressed in several of his poems, notably

More insight can be gained from his correspondence, namely The Letters of Ernest Dowson edited by Desmond Flower and Henry Maas, and New Letters from Ernest Dowson edited Desmond Flower.  CONTINUE READING…

Aside

Remember Dowson

Ernest Christopher Dowson died 115 years ago on 23 February 1900, his body worn out by tuberculosis and neglect, and his heart wounded by grief and unrequited love.

Writing to Leonard Smithers from Paris just after hearing news of his death, Oscar Wilde paid Ernest Dowson the most fitting tribute:

Poor wounded wonderful fellow that he was, a tragic reproduction of all tragic poetry, like a symbol, or a scene. I hope bay leaves will be laid on his tomb and rue and myrtle too for he knew what love was.

Dowson loved younger girls in the purest way, so I will honour him by quoting from the 5th of his Sonnets of a Little Girl:

                            … yet once in a while
Dream of a day departed and a friend
Who placed above the world and Fortune’s prize
The love that centred in thy childish eyes.